AN INTERVIEW WITH SAM & MARY HASKELL

When Sam embarks on his 50-city book tour this May, we’ll see much more of this dynamic duo that has Mississippi and its values close to their hearts.

Interview by Karen Mayer and Melissa Townsend
Photo by Robert Jordan

Thirty years ago, Sam Haskell III and his wife Mary Donnelly Haskell left Mississippi for the bright lights of Hollywood. For these two Ole Miss graduates, however, Mississippi never left their hearts or minds—even as the West Coast brought them enormous success.

Haskell, the former Executive Vice-President and Worldwide Head of Television for the William Morris Agency, began his career in the company’s mailroom and retired in 2004 after 26 years. In 2007, TV Week named Haskell as one of the 25 Most Innovative and Influential People in Television over the last quarter century.

While her husband stayed busy packaging prime time television shows such as “Lost,” “The Cosby Show,” “Mad About You” and “Everybody Loves Raymond,” Mary built a successful stage and television career. Recently returning to her first love of singing, Mary has released three inspirational albums and currently records with Martingale in Nashville.

Amidst all the success, the couple raised two children, Sam IV and Mary Lane, who are currently studying at Cal State University and New York University, respectively.

Although Sam had planned to play golf and “shed a few extra pounds” after he retired, he wound up instead keeping his schedule booked by chairing the Miss America Pageant and writing an autobiographical memoir, recounting the cherished stories and lessons his mother taught him that would guide him throughout his life and career. Haskell wrote Promises I Made My Mother, a deeply personal story about how his mother shaped his faith and principles and how he applied them to the dog-eat-dog Hollywood entertainment business. Set to release this spring, the book received unprecedented attention from many publishers and was acquired by Ballantine Books, a Random House imprint.

After years in L.A., the Haskells will soon live full-time in Oxford, where they are currently building their dream home. For these two college sweethearts, coming back to Mississippi truly symbolizes a full-circle path.

MT: You literally started in the mailroom at William Morris Agency and was made agent in a record 18 months. How?

Sam: My mother always told me to do more than expected at a job and you would get noticed. So, if I was expected to read three scripts, I would read six. Everyone hated to deliver the mail and contracts around the city then because of the traffic, so I always volunteered to do it. During those days, I would meet many of the stars with whom I would later work.

MT: As an agent, explain how you would “package” a TV show.

Sam: I would package a show by putting together actors, writers, producers, a whole team of people, and sell that show to a network. Ideas for shows came from writers or actors. For instance, Ray [Romano] came up with the idea for “Everybody Loves Raymond.” I had 75 shows but pitched over 750 over my career.

KM: Let’s talk about the new book, Promises I Made My Mother.

Sam: I wanted this book to be an autobiography and not a self-help book. I’ve always wanted to write a book. When my mother became a central character, it became obvious what the title should be—promises I made my mother I try to honor every day. There’s a place in the book when I talk about the other Mary that trumped my mother’s influence and how graceful she was.

KM: What is most important to you about this book?

Sam: The main thing is my mother’s relationship. You hear about fathers and sons, fathers and daughters, but not a lot of mother/son relationships. Every chapter discusses lessons I learned from my mother that helped me live a principled life. Each chapter has a story that honors that lesson. I lost my mother when I was 31 years old, so she has been gone for 22 years.

KM: Why write this book now?

Sam: About 10 years ago, I did a lecture at UCLA on the entertainment business and after the lecture was over, every kid in the audience stayed two hours after for a Q&A. The teacher said he’d never seen that before and that I ought to write a book. Over the years, people kept saying I should write a book. At the beginning of 2007, two years into my retirement, I was having lunch with an agent friend of mine and she said you really ought to write a book. I had mentioned the 10 things I do that make me be a better negotiator, a better person and a better agent. She was floored I would share all of this in the cutthroat world of Hollywood.

KM: You were honest in this book, painting a picture of the Hollywood entertainment business with warts and all. Was that difficult for you?

Sam: Yes, because that’s not who I am, but I wanted people to be able to respond to me. My publisher was right, if I painted too perfect a picture that would turn people off. My ghostwriter, who is listed as co-author, helped me with structure and to stay on time. I wrote everything in it, but he would tell me what he needed next. I hope it’s able to reach a lot of people.

KM: What have been the challenges for a principled person in the Hollywood landscape?

Sam: Most of it had to do with ethics and money.

MT: Tell us about the home you’re building in Oxford.

Mary: We bought land about 12 years ago. It’s a traditional Georgian home with traditional, historic architecture but with new-day functionality. We took elements of my grandmother’s home in Decatur, Alabama, and homes we’ve seen in England through the years.

MT: I know you’re longtime friends with Marsha and Frank Tindall from Indianola and that Frank is designing the home.

Mary: Yes! We love going to the Delta. I’m meeting Frank later to look at molding. There are green elements that Frank is incorporating such as geothermal heating. We want to be environmentally responsible.

MT: You and Marsha were both in pageants, right?

Mary: Yes. Marsha sang “Home” from “The Wiz” and this year Miss Georgia sang it, too.

MT: What is it about Mississippi values and the lifestyle that draws us back?

Mary: While L.A. was incredibly good to us, we’ve known for quite awhile that we didn’t want to grow old there. And to be able to spend our golden years here in our 50s, that’s a gift.

KM: What are you looking forward to bringing with you to Mississippi?

Sam: Our friends. When I was a teenager, all I could think about was how the hell I could get out of Mississippi. And at 53, all I can think about is how the hell can I get back?

KM: How are your children?

Mary: The kids are 15 months apart and they are 19 and 20 now. They’re not too happy with us for moving because they are California kids! We’re going to say good-bye to the house they grew up in, but our lives will always take us there with friends and work.

KM: Of all your philanthropic endeavors, which is closest and dearest to your heart?

Sam: I have an education foundation [Mary Kirkpatrick Haskell Scholarship Foundation] that is named for my mother. We have raised over 4 million dollars to help educate kids in Mississippi.

KM: Mary, you were a former Miss Mississippi. How did that shape your early years?

Mary: With USA and Universe, the winner takes all. It’s different with Miss America. Each state winner and locals get scholarships, so that’s why the number of scholarships is huge. I didn’t get Top 10 in Miss America, but at the end of my Miss Mississippi year, I got enough scholarships to pay for the last three years of my college.

MT: Tell us about your career.

Mary: I had a busy theatrical career for the first eight years of our marriage before our family, and it was fun. The moment we started our family, I pulled back. I didn’t want to go to a theater six nights a week. Television seemed more compatible to family life. I worked in television for 15 years and worked on about 20 television movies, a couple of feature films, and did a lot of guest starring on “Touched by an Angel” and did several episodes of “Sisters.” It was wonderful because we had a great balance with work and the family.

KM: Of your acting work, what are you most proud?

Mary: Two ABC Family movies, “Once upon a Christmas” and “Twice upon a Christmas” because they can stand on their own.

KM: What are you looking forward to doing once you get settled in your house and back to Mississippi?

Sam: I’m going to get back into golf and we’re going to continue to travel and visit our friends.

KM: We look forward to reading the book.

Sam: I say in the last chapter that if my life ends, I would want you to tell Mary and family and friends that I had a wonderful life. I have had a wonderful life and make comparisons to George Bailey in “It’s a Wonderful Life.” I think, what would George do? I feel like so many people have rooted for me in life and I always want to please everyone in life. I know I can’t, but I still try. DM